Tuesday, March 5, 2013

The one on sinking "friend"ship...

Last few months, I find that I really learn a lot about people around me. This consist of “friends” (notice how they are in inverted commas”), people who I “think” I know, people I don’t really know but want to get to know better and people who don’t know me but acted like they do. I also learn that a person’s reaction to news and how they reacted to it (especially in social media) speaks volume of their own character.

I wonder about these interesting specimens:-

1. Self-absorbed people who thinks that the world revolved around them. These people are the type who goes “ohh I can’t talk to you, you don’t understand me”  and makes you feel horrible for being a bad friend, but when you reflect back, you’ll realized that for the past 5,10 or 15 years you’ve known them rarely or never have they asked “how are you”.You’ll realize that though you know most of the things that is going in their life, they can’t say the same about you. They usually won’t give a rats ass about you because you don’t make “lepaking” with them number 1 priority in your life? The worst part is in the end of the day the blame will go to you : because you’re married, because you have children. Take note you’re not even the one using these excuses. They are!

2. How about those friends who’ll only be there when they NEED you? Of course you can’t say anything because it is considered “mengungkit”. I think the imperative word here is not “keihklasan”, I am sincere when I do things for the people I care about but that does not mean that I do not want to be appreciated. Bila nak mintak tolong, I love you lah, you’re the best la but when they get what they want “poof” semua hilang…

3. On the extreme end, how about this great friend who would be there for you when you’re in a bad place but will disappear, when good things starts to happen??? It is like they can’t be happy for you at all.

4. Another annoying species, people who don’t know you but for some reason are just so “busuk hati” and so pissed off with you for reasons only known to them. I want to refer to a specific incident but in order to protect someone that I care about, I shall not make further reference to the incidence which has greatly annoyed me since.

    5. I’m so turned off FB lately, with all the happenings in Sabah, a group of “keyboard warriors” have surfaced and polluting my timelines. Suddenly everyone is a military expert, season politicians, war lords and even Horatio Caine :p All I can say is watching episodes of Criminal Minds and playing Counterstrike does not make you an expert, no one cares about what you have to say and you end up looking like a huge douche bag :p I sometimes wonder whether politics has desensitized the thinking of these people so much so that they have become heartless? When they type all of this hurtful nonsense, have they ever stop to wonder, that someone who have just lost their loved one forever may be reading and it may cause further hurt to a person who may just want their husband, father, son etc back?

I know I’m not perfect. I have my moments when I can be horrible and bratty. Lately I’m more aware of my behavior (or try to be) and have toned down a whole load of nastiness. However, that does not mean I would put up with nonsense “just because”. Being a good fried sometimes goes beyond "just listening" and I'm not going to say something just because that is what you want to hear. I'm not an enabler and I do not want to be one.

I treasure my relationship with my friends and appreciate everything they have done (or not) for me but in the end “you get what you give”. I remember a dua’ that I made in front of Kaabah two years back for Allah to grant me with everything and everyone who is good for me. Past months have really shown me who I can truly rely on through thick and thin and for that I’m grateful. Alhamdullilah and I love you (you know who you are)


:-) said...

A friend in need is indeed a friend...

~f@R~ said...

Macam tau je ni sapa hahaha