Happy Bday Ryan :)

I can't believe you're already one month old. Seem just like yesterday when I found out I was preggers with you. Daddy and I was so excited. Feeling you move inside me,the feeling was sureal. From the start you have always been the source of my comfort, when everyone else fail to say the right thing, you always manage to cheer me up. We make a great team, don't we? You're a great study partner, research assistant, power point inspiration, lawak king etc

The day you were born, I start believing in love at first sight. You looked so perfect (a bit icky and gooey though :p) you were LOUD too... hehehe... when the nurses put you in my arms, I seriously feel that our little family is complete.. Just you, daddy and myself.

You taught me so much in this one month. Lesson many have tried to pass on to me but failed :p and you managed to get it through my thick skull in 30 days. The wonder of Ryan :) You thought me :-

1. Bumpy road does not mean lack of PERFECTION...

Ya Allah, only god knows how trying the first 2 weeks was on my sanity. I wanted everything to be so perfect for you and when it didn't happen the way I plan I was so pissed with myself. I am usually able to learn things easily, so when I failed to do some thing perfectly the first time, I began doubting myself. "Will I be a good mother to you"etc. But you were so patient with me :) despite the silly mistakes I made, various boos boos and the breakdown, you don't hold grudges and still manage to love me unconditionally. We manage to teach each other so much, kan?

2. Patience

Heheheh this is my one true weakness :) However nowadays I managed to tone it down several notches. When you cry for no reason and want to cuddle for hours or when you're in one of your feeding frenzy and latches on for 2 hours straight until my nipple are all sore and throbbing, I tell myself you are not doing thing because you hate me and wanted to make my life miserable but you're doing it because you need me as much as I need you and I have to just be patient and take it all in a stride.

3. Unconditional Love

I seriously would do anything for you and I don't think I'm the only one. You managed to capture the hearts of the people around you. Atuk and Nenek ADORE you so much that I'm starting to feel a wee bit jealous (haha) even your mak long who is usually so ego with her feelings will coo and dukung you for hours. Such a charming little boy :p

4. 1001 million other important lessons

I'm less selfish, more aware of "budget" needs and importance. I haven't bought anything for myself lately. The last purchase was made 3 days before you were born, after that everything was for Ryan Ryan Ryan...

At any other time, my bonus would be spend on unnecessary items by this time of the year but no more nonsensical purchases for the time being (haha I wonder how long this will last) Daddy and I are planning to open up a saving account for you right after I finish my pantang, All the $$$ that is given to you will go straight in the account and daddy and mummy will top it up every month ok.

Milestones...

Every mother thinks of her child as the most perfect, adorable and intelligent being and I'm no exception. I'm so proud of every little movement, cries and smiles. Sickening but true :) And I hope I'm able to be there for all your "first". You managed to laugh at something I said or did this morning, a bit too adorable.

It's also so funny that you have little patience for "budak kecik" books and you seem more interested when I read you "orang besar" stories at bed time. We managed to complete Rowling "Tale of Beadle the Bard" and am currently reading "Little Women". I'll get you more books soon ok :p I think the likes of Shakespeare or even the Twilight series is not age appropriate at the moment :p We'll get your Kisah Dari Al Quran series from out Shah Alam house soon ok...Can't wait for other sweet memories like that...

Love you so much Muhammad Ryan Daniel :) Muacks

p/s: For pics and other Ryan related info check out Ryan's blog. Link is on the side panel :p