Tuesday, February 4, 2014

The one on spanking....

Corporal punishment is a form of physical punishment that involves the deliberate infliction of pain as retribution for an offence, or for the purpose of disciplining or reforming a wrongdoer, or to deter attitudes or behaviour deemed unacceptable.

Lately there is a lot of talk about corporal punishment in reaction to the story of the Malaysia couple detained for hitting their child. I'm not going to comment about the couple alleged actions but I would like to share some personal experience in relation to the matter.

I've been caned as a child, shouted at for being naughty, grounded for disobeying my parents, my personal belonging confiscated because I did not do well in school (i.e. walkmans and books) All in all I've experienced it all. To tell you the truth I had it quite easy as compared to some of the horror stories relayed  by friends who was hit with a belt (eekkk), chased around the house with hangers (bite nails) or tied to a tree for cutting school (pee in pants).

You want to know what I have in common with all my friends? we're all functioning adults, who have successful careers, in a functioning relationship, respect our elders and love our parents very very much. I've read in a comment section in a parenting section somewhere, that kids who's punished as a child does not respect their parents and are just fearful and would be emotionally scarred blah blah blah.... I'm happy to report that I'm going to turn 31 and have not exhibited any tendency of becoming a serial killer any time soon :p

I'm talking about light caning when the child does something serious for example a tap in the hand when your 4 year old throw things at their siblings, 14 year olds refusing to solat, a smack at your 16 year old for cutting curfew or if your son is caught smoking etc. Why not? especially if ample warning have been given beforehand. You know that saying "spare the rod and spoil the child?" I mean, I'm not condoning physical abuse and ask you to walloped the kid for no reason. Know your boundaries and NEVER discipline your child when in anger.

The problem with parents nowadays, we're too concern about how our children will perceive us, thus we try to be their friends and not their parents and that is where the problem lies. That is why children nowadays are so indiscipline and lacking manners. All of us wants to be in a relationship of love and trust with our child, we want to be the person they turn to when they're in trouble but that does not mean that we can't reproach and be cross at our child during their "impossible" moments. 

My children can count on me to love them endlessly but if I think they're crossing into the wrong path, they can count on me to set them straight, any way I know how, yes I'm going to sound mean but that it is only because I love them enough and I want them to turn out to be the well mannered soleh/solehah young man/woman they're made to be....

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