Thursday, July 9, 2009

Advices : To follow or to ignore?

According to my observation, once people know that you are pregnant, their initial reaction would be to give advice (this will usually come after the best wishes :p)

Some of the advices are from a religious perspective, health and spiritual in nature. Some are based on scientific facts and some are based on adat. I'm open minded but I do respect some "pantang larang" that I think make sense (from both religious and scientific views).

So when people come to me to say that ibu mengandung :
1.can't visit orang meninggal takut badi
2.not supposed to look at certain binatang yang ugly nanti terkenan
3.tak boleh siang ikan/ketam nanti anak cacat
4.dilarang memikul batu kerana dikhuatiri anak dalam kandungan menjadi lumpuh.
5.ditegah menyusun tempurung kerana dikhuatiri anak yang dilahirkan akan botak kepalanya

I feel skeptical. I'm not trying to ridicule other people belief but I'm trying to see the rationale side of it. I've done some of the above, most with good intention at heart, so rasa tak sedap hati when people keep on saying this things to me.

My principle is when in doubt check with the experts. I decided to Google on the matter. One view on the matter is:

"tidak ada sama sekali dalam Islam, sama ada dalam al-Quran mahupun sunnah, lebih2 lagi jika kita hendak melihat ikan atau haiwan lain yang mungkin hodoh rupanya. Bagi saya, saya lebih suka berpegang kpd kemudahan yang Islam telah berikan, tidak perlu kita menyusahkan diri kita dengan kepercayaan pantang larang yang tidak mempunyai asal-usul dan dalilnya"

There is a truth in the above statement, from Islamic perspective isn't it fardu kifayah to visit and help uruskan jenazah? If I visit setakat nak sedahkan al-fatihah and baca yassin isn't it a good thing? Should't mummy-to-be be teaching her child early on the lesson of humility, that all beings will go back to Allah one day?

I also think pantang larang no 2,3 & 5 is kepercayaan khurafat. How your child will look like is determined by DNA makeup and genes. It is like we believe that the animals in some way have the power to alter our baby's feature instead of believing in Allah's power of creation. For example Steve Irwin's wife work with alligators and snakes throughout her pregnancy, her babies turn out fine and totally adorable. I believe that again whatever we do depends on our intention.

I believe in some pantang larang which I think make sense like avoding food with "stings" (pineapple, shellfish, raw seafood etc), carry heavy stuff, watching my temper/emotions, avoid weird food cravings, reading "good" books and verses from al-quran etc. I do think I need to work harder on limiting gossiping about other people (I realised I tend to gossip more with some people than other, maybe I should just avoid them..hahaha) and drinking too much ice (sejuk badan).

Insyallah Allah will protect my little family. I found this short doa from a website. For those who wants to protect yourself and love ones from "kemudaratan" Amalkanlah doa ni selalu.

بِسْمِ اللهِ الَّذِيْ لاَ يَضُرُّ مَعَ اسْمِهِ شِيْءٌ فِي الأَرَْضِ وَلا فِي السَّمَاءِ وَهُوَ السَّمِيْعُ الْعَلِيْ
"Dengan nama Allah yang tidak akan dapat apa jua sesuatupun memberi mudharat dengan namanya, sama ada di bumi mahupun di langit, dan dialah maha mendengar lagi mengetahui."

So for those who are also pregnant or planning, consider this ok.Hope it brings you some peace of mind :)


twayblade said...

i didnt eat pineapple (because i mmg tak suka), tak duduk kat bendul pintu (nanti susah nak bersalin) and tak tido senja (sakit kepala).

yang lain?? blasah je.

~f@R~ said...

Bendul pintu tu kat mana? hehehe

twayblade said...

bendul pintu mcm pintu kat umah kampung kan mcm ada bump skit, between frame pintu and tangga nak turun. benda bump tu laa bendul. duduk situ syok sambil lunjur kaki kat tangga. tp tu la, org kata tak elok dok situ kalo pregnant. nanti mcm ada halangan time nak bersalin.

najwa said...

seriously ader pantang yang pelik2 mcm tue..yg i penah dgr tak boleh tgk benda2 tak elok jer(ie crita hantu or watever tahyul monster movie)..cuz takut mummy preggie terkejut..
dats all..
yg the rest u tulis tue..seriously never heard of it b4..i mean da pantang larang is totally weird..
well im not a mummy 2 b n definitely not a wife yet..but if im in ur shoes i'll b skeptical as well..

Anonymous said...

ala far...u doa byk2...nawal ok je...dana x de la dengar sgt bende2 org tua nie...its all in god hands...

~f@R~ said...

Hehehe thanks puan-puan and tuan-tuan sekalian :)