Thursday, July 15, 2010

Milk Relatives???

A friend forwarded an email to me on a newspaper clipping entitled “Saudi women use Fatwa in driving bid – They vow to breastfeed their drivers”

The summary of the newspaper report pretty much states that Saudi women may breastfeed their drivers for them to become their sons. This stems from the problem as women are not allowed to drive in Saudi Countries. The rationale is if the drivers drink the milk he will be considered as a part of the family thus may drive these women around town without chaperon. Of course the women are not happy, some find it funny and weird and mostly it was ridiculed.

I know I’m in no position to comment on a fatwa, so I did some research on “ibu susuan” and the conditions. This is what I found:-

Syarat yang menyebabkan seorang anak angkat itu disabitkan sebagai anak susuan dan menjadi mahram kepada perempuan yang menyusukannya ada tiga perkara iaitu:
1. Perempuan yang menyusukan. Disyaratkan orang yang menyusukan itu perempuan yang telah mencapai usia sembilan tahun qamariah.
2. Anak yang disusukan. Disyaratkan anak angkat itu umurnya tidak melebihi dua tahun qamariah (haulain)
3. Air susu perempuan. Disyaratkan air susu itu sampai masuk ke perut anak angkat berkenaan sehingga ia boleh menyebabkan pertumbuhan badan anak tersebut. Sebagaimana sabda Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam: Maksudnya: "Tidak menjadi mahram daripada susuan melainkan apa yang menumbuhkan daging dan menguatkan tulang." (Hadis riwayat Ahmad)

Based on the mazhab practiced in Malaysia, a woman may become “ibu susuan” based on the conditions above. Most importantly they may breastfeed “babies” and not grown man albeit feeding straight from the source or a cup.

One of the reasons why I went through the trouble “Googling” the hukum is because I’m troubled by the reaction some of my non Muslims friends, may have on the teaching of Islam based on things reported in papers and internet. I’m not just referring to this particular article but others too. Some find the Islamic teaching to be unfair to women, ridiculous, tyrannical etc. I don’t blame them though.

However, I find it sad; the way a Muslim woman is portrayed is sometimes so distorted and untrue. The media made it seem that Islam does not allow their woman to use their brains but should just be confined at home underneath their hijab and veils. Don’t get me started on the issue of polygamy and how they are seen merely as a tool to satisfy a man’s sex drive and nothing more.

I think it is very important for us to look into the history and reasons as to why some of the practice is introduced. If you look back during Nabi Muhammad (SAW) time, the women are not treated as objects (as they are now in some UAE countries) but they do play a great part in the society. Not only are they child bearers and cares, they are businesswomen, philosopher etc. Some of them even go to war with the men.

Rasulullah (SAW) first wife Saidatina Khadijah owns a very successful business and was considered a very prominent member of society. So is Saidatina Siti Aishah the prophet youngest wife, who was considered one of the brightest minds during her time. If you read the history, the prophet greatly respect his wives, he listen to them, help them with housework, take care of his children and even COOKED. So to all the man out there contemplating polygamy, do you think you can provide beyond “material” fairness and be fair in every aspect as the prophet was? No offence but some of the man with only one wife pun tak terjaga, ada hati nak ada 4 (haha emo!)

To the men who may have the misguided notion that it is the ABSOLUTE responsibility for women to take care of the housework, please know that you’re wrong. I am in no way a supporter of groups like SIS but if you actually pay the slightest bit of attention during your kursus kahwin, you will know that it is the MEN'S RESPONSIBILITY to provide and take care of his wife and kids. According to the ustaz if my husband did not buy groceries and I end up hungry, it is a sin on his part but if he do not instruct me to cook and I didn’t and he’s hungry I’m not at fault BUT if I choose to cooked even without him asking with the “niat” to help and make him happy I dapat pahala? *insyallah* Tak caya? asked the Ustaz.

How about the absurd notion that Islam does not favor girls? Do you know that Siti Fatimah Az-Zahra, who is the prophet youngest daughter, is one of his favorite children? He even goes to the extent of offering his own seat every time Siti Fatimah came over. I don’t know from where all of the misconception on women stems from, but I do know that they are not true.

When I found out I was pregnant, more so when I found out that I was having a boy, one of the first books that I choose to read to Ryan was the autobiography of Saidatina Aishah and his relationship with Rasulullah. I plan to read it to him again when he’s older and explain to him the importance of respecting women. Not only the women in his life (i.e. me, granny, aunties etc) but all women in general, and who better to educate him if not for the best role model in Islam. Insyallah none of my son(s) will grow up as a male chauvinist :p

Sorry don’t mean to preach but as liberal and accepting as I may be I really hate it when my religion is ridicule, especially if it is done without basis.



idzerqqy said...

I'm with you on this one, hohoho, do not get me started..!! Hehe

Sha said...

the post reminded me off the pink loving, miniskirt wearing feminist story. The discussion got so heated

~f@R~ said...

Idza: kan? some people have all sort of distorted views that it makes me sad :(

Sha: OMG nasib baik takde sape2 kena ketuk dengan heels kan :p