Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The Twin Reaction

What is it about pregnant woman that brings out the doctor’s and weird questions in people?

I’ve had my share of annoying/insensitive/useless comments and “advices” from people when I was pregnant with Ryan. My reaction is usually to just smile, ignore, go home and bitch to Lan about it. The level of “penyibukness” and “stupidity” is beyond comprehension especially once they find out that I’m expecting twins. Double the baby, double the annoying comments.

Example of some of the questions/comments that I’ve received and my answers (or what I wish I could have answered) when they found out I’m pregnant with twins, some are harmless and funny but some are downright offensive :-

• Do twins run in the family?

• Is it identical or fraternal?

• What do you mean when you say they are fraternal twins?
It means at the time of conception they are created from 2 different eggs and sperms and they resides in two different sacs (sumpah science class :))

• Would that mean they will have the same gender?
Not necessarily, statistically it means we could be expecting a pair (boy +girl), 2 girls or 2 boys.

• Are you going for natural or c-section?
I prefer natural birth but we’ll cross that bridge when the time comes

• (Mesti ada yg tak puas hati when I answered that way so next question will be...) What? I think you should INSISIT on natural birth, I’ve seen this done on YouTube somewhere in USA and it is not that hard blah blah blah
You idiot I didn’t say I WANT to go for a c-section but if the babies are not in an ideal position takkan nak paksa keluar gak kan? I’m open to every possibility.

• Why is your stomach so small? Are you are SURE there’s twins in there?
Yes (what I wanted to say is “nope, I’m making this is up as I go along because I’m bloody LOA. Yes I’m sure *double roll eyes* )

• How did you do it?
Duh!! (Do you want me to SHOW you?)

• Did you plan on having twins?
Nope (hahaha this is kinda stupid, how do you PLAN twin pregnancy ? Not like I’m Octomum and can request for the doctors to plant extra embryos in my body)

• Did you take any pills/hormones etc so that you can have twins?
Nope (How is it any of your businees??? Sumpah I find this question incredibly insensitive as this kind of things is terribly personal. Busybody to the core)

• You must have s*x more than once right?
Me: *put on straight face* Yes a gazillion time, don’t you??

• If they are off the same gender mesti you wanna buy the same clothes for them kan?
Maybe but not ALL the time. After all they are twins not CLONES

• If they are both girls, mesti you won’t pay much attention to Ryan anymore kan? OR people saying this in front of Ryan “bila adik ada mesti orang tak sayang Ryan dah kan”
OMG this really get my blood boiling. First of all, don’t bloody put ideas in my baby’s head, just because he’s young that does not mean he don’t understand things said to him and Secondly, Ryan is not some old shoes that I will cast off just because I have a new pair. He is my FIRST BORN, of course I will try to give all of my children the attention that they need regardless their age/gender. That’s what parents do – they love ALL of their babies unconditionally.

• My personal favorite, coming from someone who is older who thinks she can say whatever she wants because she’s somehow related to a relative (technically she has no direct family connection to me )
“Ni agaknya bila dah masuk 7-8 bulan mesti dah terlantar kat hospital sebab perut mesti takleh tampung kembar blah blah blah” Because my mum thought me better I just smiled and said “Insyallah ok, Farhanna doakan yang terbaik” but this woman yang tak nak kalah can say “entahla makcik tengok kamu ni and badan kamu ni mcm tak leh tahan je, mesti nanti terlampau memboyot etc”

I swear to god I wanted to SLAP her face, but I turned and pura2 fussed with Ryan instead. Doesn’t she know, words are like “doa” so it would have been better for her to say positive things instead of negative stuff but I know words would be wasted on people like her? So the main key is to ignore.

Oh well, I can’t change people but I can control my reaction to them, right? I better be prepared with more “interesting remarks” especially with Hari Raya approaching. Good lesson on patience for the little munchkins :p

P/S: Anyway my family and close friends have been incredibly supportive and excited about the new additions :) Loving their reaction, tak over but not dismissive, just the way I like it :) hehehe