Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Purple Face over Purple Bags

I so want a PURPLE bag that I’m making myself sick over it *pure exegeration*

I’ve been neglecting this blog for a bit, loads been going on, but don’t really feel like blogging, because a major wave of laziness is going on at the moment. *same old same old* Anyway I feel like I have to censor/edit my statement so that I won’t risk people being pissed or “terasa”. So that is making me even more MALAS to blog. I got 2 emails and a sms asking me to clarify my statement on my last blog. You know the whole “WH questions” who, why, when, how?

As far as I’m concerned I didn’t name names, right? So if anyone “terasa”, what can I do? Siapa makan cili dia terasa pedas. I am not going to apologize because I did not point fingers and accused anyone straight to their faces. The whole post was mostly a reminder to MYSELF. If it affect anyone else to a point where they’ll come out a better person than they are yesterday. Good for them, right? ( However, I’m not going to kid myself into thinking that I have that much effect on people hahaha)

Anyway this reminded me on a conversation that I had with a friend 3-4 years ago. He wrote in his blog that people usually don’t give a **** when he is writing about good, positive stuff. However, the moment that he come up with a “I’m depressed because A cheated on me story” or “ Backstabber Alert etc” entry suddenly all this people (some he haven’t heard in MONTHS) will start being all concerned and “friendly”. His question to me : Was he wrong to second guessed the “intention” of this “friends? Are they really sincere? Or would his “luahan perasaan” be a point of gossip that would be repeated to another once his back are turn?
I told him, I seriously don’t know. You can’t TELL of someone intention, not that you can actually see what is going on in their heads and hearts right? Maybe an old friend really did just came across his blog, and was really concerned over his well being. Sometimes the quiet ones are the one who really end up giving a helping hand when you really need a should to cry on. You never know, in the end the question to ask is…
100% TRUST undoubtedly goes to my parents. I seriously believe that they would never hurt me intentionally
90% TRUST to my hubby. I love him with all my heart and though love is supposedly blind & deaf I think I should be allowed to thread my life with bit of caution. Better be safe than sorry, no harm in that :)
85% TRUST to my sister and SOME close family members
80% TRUST to my top 5. Some people may actually be shocked to find out on the people who makes the list. Very unconventional choices. So that is why I would never ever give out their names. Hahaha
75%- 50% TRUST to my close friends depending on experience/ how long we’ve know each other/ the person personality/integrity and sincerity
In summary the people who is in my TRUST A-LIST is in the range of 10 or so. Is that bad? Maybe I’m too cynical, but what I am today is based on past experience. I learn from my mistakes and am still learning. If people don’t like it and find me cold/secretive that’s to bad. I never said I was perfect. I never claim that by posting this that I’m implying that I’m TRUSTWORTHY or 100% mistake free. I’m not. I know that and I’m the first person to tell you not to expect that type of loyalty from me.

It’s your call! And I’m back to my search of my perfect purple bag :)

1 comment:

ML said...

biasa lah tu