Just one one of those days....

I WANT these
(ok maybe not ALL just one each for the girls will do :p)

I know it is not practical and the girls grow up so fast...
It is also quite expensive -__- 
and I usually don't go crazy for designer clothes for my kids because YES I do read about Dr Muhaya's opinion about spoiling our kids very early on in life *pffftttt*
(but let me justify that this is actually cheaper than what they're selling in one of those "leading" Malaysian online shop and it's DVF not some cikai designer)

Yeah I freaking sound pretencious and I hate sounding like this but I really like this line for some reason, I can imagine the girls wearing this for Raya... I don't even mind if this is to be their only non baju kurung baju raya because I want it I want it and I want it...

So saya akan beristigfar, take a deep breath and I'm gonna do what I always do when I want something real bad even when I know I shouldn't. I will wait for a few days and see whether it is really something I want or is it just one of those "in the moment nafsu thingmajingy) and if I still feel like I want these dresses on let see, MONDAY?? I shall just go and buy it..As for the moment I shall delete these from my "shopping bag" and try to forget it existed for a while hehehe

Psycho mummy alert mode... or more like psycho shopaholic mental problem mode hahaha

The one on the Snobish Bookworm...

I haven't done any book review in AGES... 

I hate to admit it but I don't have much time to read and finish a book lately. Planning to break the horrible cycle, so yesterday I forced myself and managed to finish a book in a day :) More on this later on..

I'm a bit of a book snob. You can't be a student of Mrs Mag Literature class and not be a book snob :p At the young age of 16, I was already exposed to the wonderful world of character and plot analysis. You don't just READ a book, you analyze the motivation of the protagonist and antagonist, the maksud tersirat, tersurat of each line, character development, the events which contributed to the climax of the story and of course the conclusion and the moral for each story. You just have to look at my worn copy of Harper Lee's "To Kill a Mockingbird" and Hemingway's "Old Man and the Sea" and judge yourself.

Having said that, despite my English being pretty crap and my "gone" grammar, I still can't pick up a book and have what most people describe as "easy reading". I'll nit pick like crazy... it drives my friends nuts because they'll be all excited over a book and I'll be like "the plot is stupid, the heroine has no back-bone and the ending is a disappointment". The reply I usually get is "Far we're not in class, STFU :p"

Anyway I've been picking books to read based on the current "now showing" in the cinema list :p However, instead of watching the movie first, I choose to read the book first and usually end up being hugely disappointed in the movie or tv series. It is just so hard to despict and potray the emotions and details that you can find in a book that directors usually failed to capture on screen. I guess in the end their motivation is MONEY so whatever brings in the ratings would be highlighted. Oh well you can't make everybody happy.

List of book currently on my side table which I've read, in the midst of reading or will start reading soon :) 

Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy

 

I'm sorry but this whole series is crap. The plot is repetitive throughout the whole 3 books. I don't know about you but I'm so over the whole beautiful supposedly "intelligent" young woman swooning over a hot young guy she met ONCE just because of his "mysterious smile and smouldering eyes" (Twilight and Vampire Diaries, rip-off much?). The book is describe on Wikipedia as the "mummies p.orn" hence the popularity but truth be told the se.x scene got pretty much boring after Chapter 8 Book 1. I've read Mills and Boons books with much interesting depiction of love making (hahaha) Even after the discount, it was the worse RM69.90 I've ever spent on books. Don't even get me started on the ending which is very anti climatic (pun intended) *Sorry Christian Grey fans :p* 

Silver Linings

 

I haven't watch the movie despite it winning Oscars and all, but let me tell you I am so running to the nearest DVD shop to watch this, after picking up and completing this book yesterday :) I absolutely love the story. It is a love story with a twist and instead of having the perfect "shinny" couple, you get a bunch of loonified, crazy and screwed up protagonists :) I love all the references it made to the classics (books) and having Bradley Cooper on the cover is always a plus...

The Hobbit

Ok this is a re-read and re-buy :p I lost my copy of The Hobbit, and when the movie came out, I got a bit sentimental and went out to replace my old copy. Tolkien never disappoints and I'm bias because I love his work. Fans of middle earth would agree with me. If you want to start your Middle Earth adventure I suggest you start with this book, moving on to the LOTR trilogy, The Silmarillon and Children of Hurin.

Les Miserables

I got myself this complete and unabridged copy of the book months ago and I am still on the first chapter :p Admittedly, I got lazy and I shall complete this book once I finish reading this.......

The Host

This book seems easy reading enough, and I picked it up because it is written by Stephenie Meyer the writer of Twilight. Read some good review on this, so I shall start reading this tonight and hopefully finish this by this week? Here's to hoping and wish me luck :)

Mari membaca everyone....

P/S: Don't take my review seriously. Everyone has different taste and since you shall not judge a book by its cover, pick any one and you may end up loving it... even if you hate it you're bound to learn something.... Peace yo!!!

FarryTales 3.0???

My birthday is coming soon but this year instead of just thinking about presents, another thought is slowly creeping up to me is “dangggg I’m going to be 30 this year”. But to tell you the truth I don’t really feel OLD. Adakan sebab saya tak sedar diri or because I’m naturally surrounded by “wiser” people daily that make me terperasan muda haha :p

Anyway when Lan turned 30 2 years ago,I asked him this question. “Is this where you envisioned yourself to be when you’re 30?” Now I’m going to ask myself the same question “Am I in a place where my 25 year old self envisioned to be at 30 years old?”

Alhamdullilah… I think the answer is a big fat yes :)

When some major changes was taking place in my life short of turning 25, I decided to stop making new year resolutions (which don’t work for moi) and concentrate on achieving 5 major goals for myself. To ensure that I would follow through I’ve set a 5 year timeline. It wasn’t easy but I quietly worked through each and every one of my goals and prayed to Allah to make my path easier. With Allah will, the help of those closest to me and my own hardwork. Alhamdullilah I managed to complete all 5 of my to do list as follows:

A.      Get married and start a family

This sound a bit “kampung” I know but maybe I’m a kampung girl at heart and proud of it (haha) Anyway I just got engaged at that time, so you can imagine what “triggered” this dream :p  My parents also inspired this desire of having a “young family”.

I guess based on my family experience I always thought having the abundance of energy to “layan” my kids is a big plus despite the lack of experience and funds :p In the end  all this  goes down to the blessings that Allah has bestowed to me. Providing me with the rezeki of my 3 children is the best gift I’ve ever gotten my entire life and that is saying a lot because I’ve been blessed with many things which I can’t even began to be thankful for.  

B.      To buy a property under my name

A house (check) A car (check)

C.      To complete my masters

Check :)

D.      Perform my Umrah

Check (big thanks to my in-laws)

E.       Career Advancement

Check

Another achievement that is not in my list but I have to say I’m very proud of myself for doing, is to start covering my aurat and wearing the hijab full time. I have to say I’m not quite there. I have yet to completely rid of the figure hugging clothes but something a friend said to me totally motivated me to try harder (She’s non-Muslim by the way) “Far when I first met you it was all short skirts and spaghetti straps and looking at you now, trust me I believe it is a huge achievement :)” 

Anyway, I would like to reiterate again and again that the above is not my doing alone or even at all. It is all driven by Allah will and blessing. I have to remember to be extra grateful and thankful. I’m always reminded by my parents that sometimes these “blessings” is a bigger form of test than any hardship could be. Because hardship will usually bring you closer to god but “kesenangan” sometimes push you away from him. So remember Farhanna remember…

I guess now that I’m turning 30 I shall start a new series of 5 year goals to be achieved before I turn 35. First in order and I shall put in writing to always remind me is  TO STRIVE TO BE A BETTER MUSLIMAH WHICH IN TURN WILL TRANSLATE INTO ME BEING A BETTER MOTHER, WIFE, DAUGHTER, FRIEND, EMPLOYEE etc. *In Sha Allah* 

Repost photo source google.com

The other 4? I guess you have to wait another 5 years to find out if I managed work it out. Pray for me will ya :) 

Ohhh hubby is turning 32 tomorrow (old man alert :p) An early birthday wish to the love of my life. May Allah continue to  bless you with the gift of contentment for your awesome life, beautiful and intelligent wife (haha) and gorgeously healthy and soleh children. I wish you loads of love, awesomeness, health and may you become a better Muslim with every birthday :) Love you branches Kismissy. Muacks!!

The One on My Little Baker...

I'm big at finding new activities for Ryan to try.

This is mostly to minimize his time watching TV or playing with his tablet. Alhamdullilah I've managed to minimize Ryan's TV time as compared to before and the twins are not exposed to much TV (not even Sesame Street DVDs etc) I think learning from our experience with Ryan, their time would be better spent playing or doing creative activities.

So TV time is minimize to only at around 30mins or less at my mum's house (we only on the BabyTV in the morning when the kids are getting ready to help distract them) and NO TABLET time allocated at all. Our approach is very simple, the tab is mummy's and you can only play with it when mummy gives your permission to do so. It sounds a bit dictatorial but so far it worked since none of my kids are addicted to youtube and the likes of it - They watch what Lan and I want them to watch. Fullstop!

My children, Ryan especially is at the age where he's very open to try out new stuff. He always has a thing for cakes (since the TV when it is on is always tuned on the food channel) and though I do bake from time to time, I'm not really at the stage where I'm comfortable to include Ryan in the activity. So you can imagine my delight when I found out that my friend's little sister Jaja of the The Baking Fairies has introduced a cake decorating modules for children or Little Fairies as she called them :)

Photos are reposted from TBF IG

Photos are reposted from TBF IG

Photos are reposted from TBF IG

Photos are reposted from TBF IG

Anyway Ryan had a lot of fun decorating the cupcakes and even made new friends. He was so excited and the first thing he did when he got home was to demonstrate to his Mak Long the right way to "ice" a cake. I definitely plan to send Ryan to more baking classes in the future. It encourages creativity and even fine motor skill. Do check out their website (as attached above) if you're interested. Highly recommended by moi :)

With Nawal

His handiwork

Haha yes he was the only boy in the Saturday class :p

Thank god there's not much stigma about sending boys for cooking classes anymore. Even if there is, I don't care. I plan to raise Ryan the same way my late Wan raises her boys. My uncles and dad are all hands on fathers who not only help around the house but are also awesome cooks. So as far as I'm concern all housework even the cooking are to be shared equally between the 3 children and Ryan being the eldest would be responsible (when the time comes and if need be) for his little sisters meals :)

Hopefully he'll grow up to be a soleh responsible young man who's also an awesome cook and baker *in sha allah* Hahaha how's that for raising the next Jejaka Idaman Melaya?

Off with the head....

Been dreaming over this colour palette for a few month.

Finally decided that it is to be the new wall color for the kids playroom

I wanted something girlie (coz technically it is more the twins playroom than Ryan)

but I did not want the traditional pink/purple combo... 

So last week, we went to the paint store to get this gorgeous mint paint called "Tinkerbell"

How fitting, huh?

Since it is just a tiny room, I left hubby to his own devices and decided to venture into a new project that I've been meaning to do as a part of the playroom deco:  Head Silhouette

 In my case I needed 3 20cmx20cm canvas to start which I spray painted white with spray paint.

Let them dry for a few hours and make sure that the newspaper did not stick to the wet paint 

(which totally happen to me :p) 

 There's several way to get the head silhouette

1. Draw the profile free hand & fill in the blanks with the colour of your choice. Traditionally silhouette are black in colour, but feel free to change it up (my chosen method of the day); or

2. Take a side profile pic of your child/ own head, blow it up and "trace" the profile on a piece of paper ; or

3. Print the profile off the internet and stick it on a canvas or for an easier and cleaner method put it in a frame :p

Once the silhouette are painted on the canvas, wait for it to dry and later spray the gloss paint on the canvas to get the shiny/gloss up effect. Depending on how efficient you are, the whole process would probably take  around 3 hours (taking into consideration the "drying period"). 

Lo and behold a head silhouette of my children : Iman, Ryan and Ranya. Anyway though the twins looked more grown up than Ryan, I'm very happy with my handiwork :)

Will post the picture of the completed playroom once I'm done with it. 

Toodles, have a great weekend everyone and happy trying...

Which way to the Zoo??

We've been wanting to go to the zoo in ages but there's something always stopping us, be it weather, sickness, kenduri-kendara or just plain malas-ness. Last Thursday Lan and I took leave to send my parents in law off to Mekah to perform their umrah. We brought Ryan along as he was on school holidays (wow I have a child who's on school holidays- old haha). 

My PIL checked in around 11am so we had a lot of time on our hands... I had listed down a few pre-schooler friendly places for us to go to such as Petrosains, Taman Burung, Butterfly Park, Shopping complexes (haha) but Lan was adamant that he wanted to go to the zoo (oh well he must have been missing his "friends" at the primate park :p ) so we drove all the way from Putrajaya to Hulu Klang (macam jauh je haha)

We reached the Zoo around 11.30am and the sun was shinning brightly. I quickly changed to my flat-est shoes, insisted on bringing the stroller and digging out the umbrella. I was wearing a jumpsuit and a chiffon top, not the most zoo friendly outfit since I started sweating like crazy before we even reached the ticket counter, but Ryan was excited so that is enough motivation to put some spring in my steps.

The elephant, giraffe, pony, flamingo, landak and camel.

There's more animals picture but it is all in my DSLR.

I shall upload it (one day) into our "travel blog" ok :p

 

 At the ape centre discussing our next destination.

Ryan was pointing at the map and himself saying - "nak tengok Ayen"

...

Confused kejap... why would he want to see himself?

.......

ohhhhhh it finally dawned to me...

....

He wanted to see the LION-Ryan? geddit?

"A day in the life of si peyat..." 

I shall blog more about this (someday ;p) 

 Monkey facts

 Hi I'm Ellie the elephant 

I dont think it is his/her real name. 

I'm just making it up as we go along :p

Anyway we were pretty lucky that 70% of the animals are up and eating when were there.

In fact si Ellie was busy eating sugar cane handed to him non-stop by the other visitors

Ryan was entralled by the process..

 Why they chain the elephants?

Not because they're cruel ok..

It's for their own safety-la

 Miss Giraffe(s)

Who looked happy and kenyang :) 

Bringing the stroller was a good bet

because after 2 hours Ryan was too tired to walk and he got a bit moody.

It guess to hot sun got to him (and me)

Anyway I saw this woman (who I assume is CRAZY)

because she was walking around in an outfit suitable for photoshoot, full face make-up and 5 inch heels (bukan wedges ye.. HEELS)

I have nothing againts heels, in fact I love any form of shoes

but walking around uneven terraces and pathways in those shoes are just plain suicide..

padan muka balik rumah mesti blisters

I told Lan, that she must be from the "blogger tegar" community

self torture in order to get gorgeous IG photos.. hahaha

Verdict?

It was a fun filled activity for a 4 year old who's able to appreciate the animals and the surroundings

I'm happy that Ryan is happy-la

However, the condition of the park is a bit sad, mostly due to the fact that it is undergoing major constructions in some of the habitat areas. Hopefully they'll get more interesting animal back in ASAP

For example the African Lion is missing, yg tinggal is one very bony Asian lioness with not bushy hair -__-

I would also like to suggest some improvement to their "Savannah Park" which really looked like the park in front of my house je hahah

Where to next?

Maybe we should go back to Malacca and bring the kiddies to the Malacca zoo next. If my memory serves me right it is more exciting ohh and I heard the Taiping zoo is not bad as well...

Yeap we shall have a few sessions of Cuti-Cuti Zoo Malaysia planned :)

*in sha allah*

But we shall wait until election is announced ok babies

Selagi tak GE13 jangan harap la nak book any holidays coz daddy is on standby to report for duty :(

The Bad Mom.s Club

Or is it a support group?

When you’re a parent, you’ll usually fall under certain category and later be “judge” for it.

If you’re a Stay At Home Mum (SAHM) – the label is you’re a sell out and a disgrace to feminist everywhere for chaining yourself to the kitchen and your kids

If you’re a Career Mum (CM/WM) – you’re deemed to not care about your child enough to give up your career to be there for their first step, first word, second smile, 50^th poo (you get the drift)

The war between these two is an ANCIENT one but still ongoing. I can imagine 1000 years ago a cavewoman who decided to hunt a T-Rex getting the evil eye from her homey (cavey) counterparts who is deemed “weak” for staying in her hole. I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum (albeit a shorter period on the SAHM side) take my word for it- either way is difficult.” whatever works for you and family la kan?

Today I want to talk about the Super Mummy Vs. Bad Mom Club (BMC)

The “SUPERMUMMY/SUPERDADDY” – who seems to be be able to do EVERYTHING right, their children are not only well behaved, breastfed till they are 4, speaks in 3 different languages, eats everything on the plate (from oranges to kumquat to octopus legs), extremely discipline, never threw a tantrum, do not eat any form of junk food,sodium, gluten, sugar and non-organic ANYTHING and always immaculately dress . They also NEVER scream, shout, and smack their children because for some reason time outs always worked.Their problem is just one: THEY FREAKING JUDGE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE WHO DOES NOT DO THINGS BY THEIR BOOK

The BAD MOM/PARENTS: They take “short cuts” in parenting (i.e. bribe their kids with sweets so that they’ll stop crying or give picky eater whatever they want as long as they eat). Their children has tantrums, extremely clumsy, uses binky/pacifiers, not diaperless by the age of 2, watches TV and play with IPads (it’s a long list of offences) The parents “discipline” their children by screaming, shrieking, meltdowns etc. 

My confession? I’m one of them

Actually the BMC are not made of bad mothers. Far from it, because most of them are awesome parents who chooses not to do things by the book or based on “what’s in”. The best thing about the members of BMC is that they’re extremely helpful and tends to judge less. It is easier to “confess” to them without feeling like a total failure.

I choose NOT to talk about some of my “real parenting” issues with just about anyone for the simple reason that they judge and sometimes make unfair and thoughtless comments. Some won’t even let you “complaint” because they’re all “sapa suruh have banyak kids” (Someone actually said this to me) At that time I wanted to retaliate by saying “I was ready to have a SECOND child but Allah gave me THREE, are you suggesting that I blame god?” Of course I didn’t but that is beside the point. The point is I need people who “get” what I’m going through and can give useful input

Alhamdullilah… I have a few of them in my life:  my mummies friend  from my Dino years, mummies friend at work and mummies mates from Twitter and Blog. I may not have a gabijilion of them but the one that I have really do help me a lot. At the same time they also teaches me empathy and understanding.

Take this scenario for instance. When you see a Kancil with let say 4 kids in them some of whom may not be in car seats the “supermummy” would say “How irresponsible, they should get car seats for all the kids or have someone with them all the time”. 

The BMC would reason out “Ok that is dangerous but maybe they don’t have the budget to buy car seats, maybe they don’t have someone to help them out etc BUT I do wish they put on safety belts on the kids though” 

The problem with SOME “Supers” is they come from overly privilege families, where money and help is NEVER an issues. They set such high standards for themselves, which to me is good but the problem is they try to impose the same standards to the society at large (which is annoying). There is no one size fits all solution for everyone. Quoting Tolstoy- Anna Karenina “All happy families are alike, unhappy families are unhappy in their own way” – Everyone has their OWN problems, you don’t need to add to it and make them feel bad. 

What sparked this long winded blog post? This Yahoo Entry (Click). What the parents did may be humiliating but I seriously think it was done without malice and due to extreme helplessness on their part. I don’t agree with them being labeled as “worst parents ever”. Quoting someone from the comments section "Good parents worry about outcomes. Bad parents worry about their children liking them” 

Finally, my assessment on “super mummies” who never had a bad day? In the era of Instagram and FB where you can pick and choose pictures to portray you in the best light and where you can easily censor the REAL happenings at home even nut jobs like Kim Kardashian can be a contender of mother of the year.Fullstop

Have a great weekend everyone…

Understanding His Tiny Feelings

Ryan was playing with his cars yesterday when Iman came and started throwing his perfectly lined up cars. He screamed at her once and Iman not fully comprehending the situation continued to mess up her brother’s play area. After a while Ryan got pissed off and pushed Iman away. She fell on her heavily padded buttocks and started crying. No harm done, as she instantly stopped wailing her lungs off once I picked her up.

Automatically, I gave Ryan an earful for pushing off his sister and walked away leaving him alone. He of course felt totally “victimized” and started crying. I did not immediately pacify him, as I felt a bit annoyed that he’s being unreasonable and for the fact that refuses to share any of his toys with his sisters. 

After a while everything was calm in the Lan-Far household. I had a bit of a time to reflect and truthfully I felt a bit guilty for railing off at Ryan. Looking at it from his point of view, his actions are understandable. He was playing peacefully by himself and adik was the one who “started it”, how is it fair that he got scolded but not his sister? So I had a heart to heart talk with him before bedtime: 

M: Ryan sayang adik tak?

R : Sayang
M: Kenapa push adik tadi?
R: Adik ambik car Ryan
M: Ryan janganla push adik, adik sakit, Ryan pinjam kan la car Ryan kat adik
R: No, adik cannot take car Ryan
M: (Realizing that this would not go anywhere decided to try on another approach) Ryan sayang adik kan? Tapi Ryan MARAH that adik suka kacau Ryan
R: *nodding* ah ah adik suka sepah sepah
M: Hmmm itula, tak baik kan adik suka kacau Ryan, Nanti mummy “teach” adik to not kacau Ryan anymore. Can you help me?
R: Ok, adik takleh kacau
M: Ryan sayang adik?
R: Sayang
M: Ryan jangan tolak adik lagi ok. Nanti adik fall down, darah, kena pergi Dr Chong
R: Ok
M: (I decided to leave it at that)
*3 minutes later*
R: Mummy?
M: Yes baby
R: Takleh tolak-tolak adik tau, nanti adik fall, nanti adik darah. Can play je
M: Ok

Lesson learned? 

1. A child misbehaved not necessarily because he wants to annoy you or just want your attention but maybe because it is the only way for him to express himself. 

2. As a parent I need to learn to help Ryan understand and identify his feelings. He needs to know what is anger, disappointment, pain etc and learn to deal with it. I shall not blindly shield him from negative feeling because it is inevitable for him to face them one day. I however can assist him to control his reaction to them.
3. I shall learn to CONTROL MY feelings and MY REACTION towards them. 

Let’s walk the talk shall we?

The one on weekend past and present...

Last week I grudgingly followed my husband on his office trip to Legoland and JPO. I didn't want to go because I wanted a relaxing weekend and envisioning spending the whole day in a bus in not my idea of relax. If you recall, we were just there less than 3 months ago, so I wasn't exactly jumping with excitement. Lan of course used Ryan as an excuse and Ryan was all "mummy nak go Legoland" repeat 100x so I said yes.We had to leave Iman and Ranya at home because logistic wise it wasn't convenient nor is it practical to bring them. The thought of leaving them for 32 hours sucks but both mummy and baby survived in the end (spoiler haha)

 I have to admit that we had more fun this time around because Ryan get to go on more rides and there were less people around so virtually no lines and 1/2 the waiting time

 The weather was scorching hot first half of the day and then it started raining
We still manage to cover the whole park, so I'm a happy camper...

 Click here for more pics on Our 2nd Legoland Adventure

 The price of dragging me to the other end of the country? a new bag :)

hehe no la more like MY anniversary present and a present for my mum since it was her birthday

We reckoned that she  deserve the special treat, though I got reprimanded for spending so much on the bag

My sis and I got the "spending genes" from my dad, I'm still not over the fact that she turned down my dad's offer for an LV bag when my sis was in Paris 2 years ago, if it was me, tak offer pun will offer diri sendiri hehehe

 Our "Arabian Saturday". 

My in laws had kenduri tahlil and doa selamat this week, so I donned the kids in their new jubah and kurta's from Mecca. Comel to the max...

Check out Ranya "combing" her hair. Budak perasan "princess"

Ok this are not the pictures of the same person :)
Left is Ryan and Iman and Right is Ryan and Ranya
Though I can tell their differences in person, sometimes it is harder to do so in pictures because the can really look identical. Thank god they're old enough to recognized their names, you'll see them looking up at you when their names are called.

Anyway, I just found out something hilarious, every day when they reached school, the teachers will do a "tummy check" on the twins to determined who's who. Hahaha kesian my girls everyday kena flash. Life with twins are never boring,huh?

Have an awesome start to your week everyone...

The one on sinking "friend"ship...

Last few months, I find that I really learn a lot about people around me. This consist of “friends” (notice how they are in inverted commas”), people who I “think” I know, people I don’t really know but want to get to know better and people who don’t know me but acted like they do. I also learn that a person’s reaction to news and how they reacted to it (especially in social media) speaks volume of their own character.

I wonder about these interesting specimens:-

1. Self-absorbed people who thinks that the world revolved around them. These people are the type who goes “ohh I can’t talk to you, you don’t understand me”  and makes you feel horrible for being a bad friend, but when you reflect back, you’ll realized that for the past 5,10 or 15 years you’ve known them rarely or never have they asked “how are you”.You’ll realize that though you know most of the things that is going in their life, they can’t say the same about you. They usually won’t give a rats ass about you because you don’t make “lepaking” with them number 1 priority in your life? The worst part is in the end of the day the blame will go to you : because you’re married, because you have children. Take note you’re not even the one using these excuses. They are!

2. How about those friends who’ll only be there when they NEED you? Of course you can’t say anything because it is considered “mengungkit”. I think the imperative word here is not “keihklasan”, I am sincere when I do things for the people I care about but that does not mean that I do not want to be appreciated. Bila nak mintak tolong, I love you lah, you’re the best la but when they get what they want “poof” semua hilang…

3. On the extreme end, how about this great friend who would be there for you when you’re in a bad place but will disappear, when good things starts to happen??? It is like they can’t be happy for you at all.

4. Another annoying species, people who don’t know you but for some reason are just so “busuk hati” and so pissed off with you for reasons only known to them. I want to refer to a specific incident but in order to protect someone that I care about, I shall not make further reference to the incidence which has greatly annoyed me since.

    5. I’m so turned off FB lately, with all the happenings in Sabah, a group of “keyboard warriors” have surfaced and polluting my timelines. Suddenly everyone is a military expert, season politicians, war lords and even Horatio Caine :p All I can say is watching episodes of Criminal Minds and playing Counterstrike does not make you an expert, no one cares about what you have to say and you end up looking like a huge douche bag :p I sometimes wonder whether politics has desensitized the thinking of these people so much so that they have become heartless? When they type all of this hurtful nonsense, have they ever stop to wonder, that someone who have just lost their loved one forever may be reading and it may cause further hurt to a person who may just want their husband, father, son etc back?

Conclusion?

I know I’m not perfect. I have my moments when I can be horrible and bratty. Lately I’m more aware of my behavior (or try to be) and have toned down a whole load of nastiness. However, that does not mean I would put up with nonsense “just because”. Being a good fried sometimes goes beyond "just listening" and I'm not going to say something just because that is what you want to hear. I'm not an enabler and I do not want to be one.

I treasure my relationship with my friends and appreciate everything they have done (or not) for me but in the end “you get what you give”. I remember a dua’ that I made in front of Kaabah two years back for Allah to grant me with everything and everyone who is good for me. Past months have really shown me who I can truly rely on through thick and thin and for that I’m grateful. Alhamdullilah and I love you (you know who you are)